And I said, This is my infirmity - The meaning of this phrase is not, as would appear from our translation, that his reflections on the subject were to be traced to his weakness, or were a proof of weakness of mind, but that the subject overpowered him. This verse has been very variously rendered. The Septuagint and the Vulgate translate it, “And I said, now I begin; this is a change of the right hand of the Most High,” with what meaning it is difficult to see. Luther renders it, “But yet I said, I must suffer this; the right hand of the Most High can change all;” a beautiful sentiment, but probably not the idea in the original. The Hebrew means, “This makes me sick;” that is, “This distresses me; it afflicts me; it overwhelms me. Such reflections prostrate me, and I cannot bear up under them. I “must” seek relief. I “must” find it somewhere. I “must” take some view of this matter which will save me from these dreadful thoughts that overpower and crush the soul.” Any deep mental emotion may have this effect, and it is not strange that such a result should be produced by the momentous thoughts suggested by religion, as it sometimes attends even the manifestation of the divine mercy to the soul. Compare the notes at Daniel 10:8-9. The course of thought which the psalmist pursued, and in which he found relief, is stated in the following verses. It consisted of an attempt to obtain, from the remembrance of the divine administration in past times, views of God which would lead to confidence in him. The views thus obtained, as will be seen, were two-fold:
(a) That, as far as his dealings could be understood, God was worthy of confidence; and
(b) That in the ways of God there are, and must be, many things which man cannot comprehend.
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High - That is, the years when God displayed his power; when he reached out his right hand; when he manifested his true character; when there was a proper exhibition to the world of what he is, and of the true principles of his administration. The words “But I will remember” are not in the original, though, as they occur in the following verse, they are not improperly supplied by the translators. The original, however, is more striking and emphatic: “This makes me sick! The years of the right hand of the Most High!” The history of those years occurred to his mind. They rose to his view suddenly in his sorrow. They came before him in such a form and manner that he felt they should be inquired into. Their history should be examined. In that history - in those remembered years - “relief” might be found. It was natural to look there for relief. He instinctively turned, therefore, to examine the records of those years, and to inquire what testimony they bore in regard to God; what there might be in them that would give relief to a troubled heart.