(12) В¶ And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry; (13) Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. (14) And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. (15) This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. (16) Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting. (17) Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory forever and ever. Amen.
Every word, more or less, in this account, Paul gives of his conversion, and the Lord's abundant grace, yea, exceeding abundant grace, as Paul calls it, in this sovereign display of love, is so full of instruction, that I do hope my Reader will not be offended if I call his attention to some of the leading particulars Paul dwells upon, as they affected his own mind. It is evident God the Holy Ghost was pleased, that again and again the Church should be refreshed with the history. And sure I am no child of God can attend to it too often. I refer the Reader of this Poor Man's Commentary to what hath been already offered to his meditation, on the Lord's compelling Kings, and the Gentile Court, in the case of Agrippa, to hear Paul rehearse it; see Acts 26:23. and Commentary; and also before the Sanhedrin and the court of the Jews. Acts 22:21. When the Reader hath turned to those Scriptures, and pondered that part of the subject, I beg his attention to some other observations which arise from the Scripture before us, in Paul's relation of the same wonderful work of his conversion to his beloved Timothy.
And, first. Let the Reader remark the view Paul had of the divine mercy shown him, in putting him into the ministry, who was before a blasphemer, a persecutor, and injurious. He evidently alludes here to the awful conduct he was pursuing at the time of his conversion. Paul seems to intimate, that as there is a fullness of the iniquity of the Amorite, before which measure is filled, there is no ripeness for destruction, Genesis 15:16. so there is a fullness of transgression, which the Lord's chosen ones heap up, in the Adam-nature of their fallen-state, before the time of their conversion arrives; the recovery from which tends to heighten to their astonished view, as they look back upon the past, the Lord's long-suffering, and their heights of daring rebellion. In the instance of Paul, he called to mind how he had, by his cruelties, compelled the saints of God to blaspheme; and which seemed to have wrought upon his mind, in the recollection, the bitterest part of his desperately wicked provocations. Reader! observe to what length, God's chosen ones run in offences! And observe in the midst of all, when sinning with an high hand, how the Lord still is watching over them, and, in spite of all hell's temptations, keeping them from the unpardonable sin! Oh! the wonders of grace! What a subject of this nature will be to be opened, in every child of God's life, when we come into eternity?
Secondly. Let the Reader observe, what the Apostle saith of his obtaining mercy, because he did it ignorantly in unbelief. Paul did not mean that this was the cause for which the Lord called him; or for which the Lord pardoned him. His call was, as the Lord told Ananias: because he was a chosen vessel; and from everlasting had been appointed to bear testimony for Christ, before Jew and Gentile. Acts 9:15. Neither was his ignorance the least excuse for his blasphemy, or for the persecution he manifested, to the poor saints of Christ. And Paul plainly testifieth, that he did not conceive his ignorance pleaded excuse; for, in this very account, he declares himself to be the chief of sinners. And how could he be supposed obtaining mercy for ignorance which was determined ignorance? It is plain, that he heard the wisdom of Stephen, and could not resist the spirit by which he spake; though he was among the first of them that stoned him. Acts 6:10. But the whole is designed to show, in Paul's instance, the desperately wicked state of the unregenerate while in nature; to enhance the sovereignty of Almighty grace in the recovery. From both which, it is plain, that the chosen vessels of God are, by nature, and by practice, in the same awful circumstances, as the whole Adam-race, all alike dead in trespasses and sins.
Thirdly, The time of Paul's conversion was a circumstance which in his view tended to heighten still more the unspeakable mercy; and made it, what Paul called it, the exceeding abundant grace of the Lord. It was in the very moment when he was hot in the pursuit of the blood of the saints. Like a savage beast of prey, he was breathing out nothing but threatenings and slaughter against the saints of the Lord. Acts 9:1. The Lord met him, as in the field of battle, and unhorsed him in a moment. And, no doubt, many a time after this, as often as Paul thought of it, his only astonishment was, that the Lord, who struck him to the ground, had not struck him at once into hell. If it be asked, wherefore such forbearance? The Lord himself answered Ananias, when he expressed the same wonder. He is a chosen vessel (said the Lord) unto me. Reader! do you know anything of sovereign grace? If so: say, how was you employed when the Lord called you? If not persecuting as Paul was, the Church of God; yet prosecuting at least the lusts of the flesh, and the desires of an unawakened mind. Oh! what a source of soul-feeling doth the recollection of our ill, and hell-deservings, when the Lord first manifested his grace in conversion, open to all the after reviews of life? And what a spring of true repentance, causing the tears to fall, when we look back, and behold ourselves cast out like the infant to perish, and Jesus passing by, and bidding us in our blood, live? Ezekiel 16:6
Fourthly. What a blessed conclusion the Holy Ghost taught Paul to make, from his conversion, for the instruction of others; when, under the full impression, in the review he cried out: This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. Worthy indeed, in every point of view! Worthy, as the gift of God; the price of Christ's blood; the effectual application of it by the Spirit. And it becomes the highest testimony of divine faithfulness; because in it God proves himself the faithful God, being faithful to his Covenant promises in Christ, to a thousand generations. And let not the Reader overlook what a stress Paul lays upon that proof of divine faithfulness, for all acceptation in that, even to him, the chief of sinners, that faithfulness had been shown. There is somewhat very sweet in this. Paul saith, that he is chief of sinners; by which he meant, in greatness, and in the aggravated circumstances of his sins, against the Person of Christ. I beg the Reader to mark this with peculiar notice. Paul takes no count of his morality, and the strict observance of the Pharisee. All these sunk to nothing in his view. But his daring opposition to the Person and Gospel of Christ, made him so odious to himself, that he beheld himself as the chief of sinners. And, in consequence, he always considered himself as such to the close of life. He wrote this Epistle to Timothy towards the end of his ministry; and we see he still retained this view of himself. He doth not say, I was, but I am the chief of sinners.
One word more. Let not the Reader overlook the cause Paul assigns, for this abundant mercy, shown him: that in me, said Paul, first, Jesus Christ might show forth all long suffering, for a patters to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting. As if the Apostle had said, who shall ever despond, or despair of obtaining pardon, and peace in the blood of the cross, whose heart is broken for sin, while beholding Paul the persecutor, the blasphemer, and injurious brought into the grace of Jesus? In this first, and greatest of all examples, what God can and will do; and what, through the gracious work of God the Spirit on the heart, Christ's blood and righteousness can, and doth accomplish; the vilest of the vile may be encouraged! Blessed be God the Holy Ghost, for causing so illustrious an instance of the sovereignty of Almighty grace, to be recorded, and handed down, through all ages, to the present time, in the Church of God!
Largely as I have trespassed, the case is too interesting to be dismissed, without closing it with an observation or two more. Paul could not fold it up, without ascribing honor and glory, forever and ever, to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God: that is, to the Father; Son, and Holy Ghost, whom all along, in all Paul's writings and preachings, he considered, as the united source of all his mercy, in Christ. And such most every child of God, who can, and doth discover, tokens of regenerating, and converting grace, in his own history. And there is somewhat striking in the circumstances, of every man's conversion, when duly considered, which comes home in characters special, and peculiar, to endear, and recommend it personally to every heart. And though it may not, for it is not necessary it should, be attended with similar circumstances, like those of Paul; yet, in all instances, the Lord's distinguishing love-tokens may be seen in every particular.
Reader! let it be supposed an early conversion of the heart to God, while in youth. Oh! what a mercy is it, when, like this Timothy, it may be said, that from a child, the regenerated soul hath known the holy scriptures. And to whom the Lord saith, as to Israel of old: I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals; when thou wentest after me in a wilderness, in a land that was not sown. Jeremiah 2:2. And suppose a later conversion is appointed, which, like Paul, or like the thief on the cross at the eleventh hour, think what abounding mercy, where there had been long abounding sin!
There are also special manifestations, which the Lord showeth seasons of conversion, not only in making known the grace itself, but in the manner of its work. Some, like Paul, lay days in the pangs of the new-birth; while others, like Lydia, the Lord at once opens the heart, to attend to the truths of salvation. God is a sovereign, and Almighty Agent, and worketh after the counsel of his own will. Some precious souls, have had so easy a transition, from the death of sin, to the new life in righteousness; that when comparing their call of God with that of others, they have been tempted at times to question the reality of it. But the Holy Ghost hath given the Church by Paul, an infallible testimony, to ascertain every man's election, and call, by the effects which follow. See 1 Thessalonians 1:4. and Commentary. And so far is an early, and an effectual call, from becoming questionable, when the blessed consequences of the new-birth appear, by the actions of the new-life; that it carries with it, sweet testimonies of divine love. The call of Matthew, was of this kind; and the Lord Jesus had so marked it: Matthew 9:9-13. Such Zaccheus; Luke 19:1-10. Such the Philippians 1:5. And such is the blessed variety by which the Lord calls his own, that perhaps, there are scarcely two cases exactly alike. Oh! what a subject of divine love would it open, if all the courtings, and wooings of Jesus, by his Holy Spirit, were made known, by which he wins over the affections to himself, when God the Spirit hath quickened the sinner which was before dead in trespasses and sins! Say, dear Lord! how didst thou work upon my stony heart, the hardest sure, ever wrought upon, when thou didst make me willing, in the day of thy power?