‘So when they had had breakfast Jesus says to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Joanes, do you love me more than these?” '
‘More than these' may refer to the fishing boat and the fish, and be questioning whether Jesus came first in his thinking and his plans. But it rather more probably referred to the disciples and gently reminded Peter that he had once said, ‘although all betray you, I will not'. In other words my loyalty is at least the equal of, and probably greater than, all the others. This was thus a gentle probing. The question was, had Peter learned his necessary lesson of humility? Or did he still see himself as the supreme and superior example of loyalty? There is no room for men who feel superior in the work of God. They are a hindrance to God's work. Jesus was concerned to know whether he had learned that without Christ he was nothing.
It is doubtful whether in what follows we are to see any real difference in the use of two words for ‘love'. They are probably used simply so as not to overload the narrative with one word. Both words are elsewhere used of the strongest forms of love and at this stage, when Jesus speaks, agapao had not become the supremely Christian word for love (although if He spoke in Aramaic the distinction would not be there).
Some have made a distinction between the fact that the first two times Jesus used agapao (‘spiritual love') while Peter replied with phileo (‘have affection'), and that the third time Jesus also used phileo. But if Peter had been aware of the distinction he would hardly have been grieved by Jesus asking the third time and toning down by using phileo, when he himself had constantly used it. He would rather have seen it as Jesus catering for his hesitancy to use the stronger word. What grieved Peter was not he use of a different word but the very fact that, having asked the question twice, Jesus asked it a third time. This suggests that he saw the questions as having the same force all the way through.
This is confirmed by the fact that John regularly uses synonyms in order to avoid becoming tedious. Indeed he uses phileo of the love the Father has for the disciples (John 15:27), of His own love for the beloved disciple (John 20:2 - even though usually using agapao) and of the love the Father has for His Son (John 5:20). Thus he sees phileo as indicating a strong love.
‘He says to him, “Indeed, Lord. You know that I love you.” He says to him, “Feed my lambs”.'
Note how impetuous Peter restrained his impetuosity. He made no claim to have special love. He would no longer compare the greatness of his love with that of others, even when given the opportunity. He would, however, declare that his love was true. Thus had he become fit to feed the lambs.