‘Then the woman came and told her husband, saying, “A man of God came to me and his countenance was like the countenance of an angel of God, very terrible.” '
The visitor was in human form but his appearance was ‘very terrible' (awesome). The woman was filled with awe at her experience. This is why to the wife the messenger is ‘the angel of God '. (Possibly here we should translate this as ‘a divine messenger' as indicating awesomeness and mystery). He had not told her His name, thus He was to her an unidentifiable divine being. On His second appearance to her He thus came as ‘the messenger (angel) of God ' (not Yahweh) (Judges 13:9), the latter referring back to her previous usage and experience, even though He had first come to her (but not with her realising it) as the angel of Yahweh (Judges 13:3). Her concentration was on the ‘otherness' (that which is beyond human experience and comprehension) of the visitant. To her He was an unknown divine visitant (see Judges 13:22).
“But I did not ask from where he came, nor did he tell me his name.”
This is her confession of her own failure. She had been so awestruck that she had not asked where He came from. She had been silent before Him and He had not revealed His own identity, He had not revealed His name. To reveal the name would have been as a bond between the two, as it would mean that the angel revealed something of His inner qualities and being. But this had not happened, and thus there was no personal bonding. It is intended to be a condemnation on her, and a sign of her religious syncretism, that she was not aware that He was the Angel of Yahweh.