Addressed To ‘My Son'. Those Who Seek To Walk In The Fear Of YHWH Will Listen To The Instruction Of Godly Authority (Proverbs 1:8-9).
Here in chapter 1 the appeal is a fairly short one, but the writer may well have had in mind that he had already given a detailed analysis of wisdom and understanding in Proverbs 1:2-7. It does, however, lay down the important principle that the chief source of wisdom to the family is the father and the mother.
‘My son, hear the disciplinary instruction of your father,
And do not forsake the law of your mother,
For they will be a wreath (floral crown) of grace to your head,
And chains (necklaces) about your neck.'
‘My son.' This was a regular way in which wisdom teachers addressed their students, and we have examples of this expression in wisdom literature from elsewhere, although often in that literature it was addressed to an individual who was being prepared to take over responsibilities. They saw their students as to some extent their children in wisdom and knowledge.
‘My son' occurs as follows:
· It occurs fifteen times in Chapter s 1-9, being understandably absent in Chapter s 8-9 where Wisdom takes over. She dose not speak of ‘my son'.
· It occurs only once in Chapter s Proverbs 10:1 to Proverbs 22:16, where it would not suit the more formal style of the writing which mainly consists of pithy proverbs That occurrence is in Proverbs 19:27 where it has a special significance.
· It occurs five times in ‘the words of the wise' (Proverbs 22:17 to Proverbs 24:22) where the saying are more extended (as in 1-9).
· It occurs once in Solomon's words gathered by the men of Hezekiah (Proverbs 25:1 to Proverbs 29:27). That is in Proverbs 27:11, where it is the opening appeal to the second section of that passage.
Sometimes he uses the address ‘sons' (e.g. Proverbs 4:1; Proverbs 5:7), thus making clear that ‘my son' is composite. He is not referring to Rehoboam, or to his hundreds of other sons (he had three hundred wives and seven hundred concubines), for if Rehoboam had offered himself as a surety he was hardly likely to be financially embarrassed (Proverbs 6:1-5), and those words were clearly addressed to a theoretical case.
With regard to the use of ‘my son' and ‘sons' we can compare how Deborah and the wise woman were seen as ‘mothers in Israel' (Judges 5:7; 2 Samuel 20:19), those who guided people in God's ways. But this did address did not prevent Solomon from recognising that the prime instructors and disciplinarians of the people were their own fathers and mothers (Proverbs 1:8; Proverbs 6:20). In Israel the spiritual education of the children was very much their father's responsibility, and, under his authority, their mother's. See Exodus 12:26-27; Exodus 13:8; Deuteronomy 6:20-25; Deuteronomy 11:19; Deuteronomy 32:7; etc. These were their guides to true and godly living in accordance with the Torah (Law/Instruction), and in accordance with revealed wisdom. The passing on of Wisdom teaching for Israel lay firmly in the hands of the parents, and included the Torah.
The importance given to the teaching of father and mother comes out again in Proverbs 6:20 where Solomon tells his ‘son' to ‘keep the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the law (torah) of your mother', and in Proverbs 10:1 where, ‘a wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother'. This last is important in stressing that the father and mother were acting in their son's best interests, and thus found delight in his obedience (see also Proverbs 3:12). This was all one with the commandment to ‘honour your father and your mother', indicating walking before them in respectful obedience, as required by the covenant (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16). And this was because to their children they were to be the prime figures of authority.
But that this authority was not expected to be exercised in a heavy-handed way comes out in the vivid picture used, that their instruction and law would be like a floral crown gracing the head, and a floral chain around their necks, symbols of joy and celebration, as well as of honour (these would be the crowns and necklaces best known to the common people). The word for ‘crown' or ‘wreath' is found elsewhere only in Proverbs 4:9, where it parallels a crown of glory (or ‘splendour'). The word for necklace is used elsewhere of decorative necklaces (Judges 8:26 - a camel's necklace; Song of Solomon 4:9 - a maiden's necklace). They were to be signs of honour, and of a loving, responsive and joyous relationship. This was the ideal.
Others, however, see the crown and necklace as indicating victory and protection based on possible Egyptian parallels. Then the thought is that victory and security in life will be achieved by following the disciplinary instruction and teaching of their fathers and mothers (in other words, seen ideally, by following godly authority).
Note that it is the father who ‘instructs/disciplines' (compare Proverbs 3:12) whilst the mother teaches ‘the law (Torah)'. He was the overall head responsible for instruction and discipline, she was a guide to God's torah. Thus it was the father of the household who had prime responsibility for instruction and discipline, and was, if necessary, expected to exercise discipline in the way which was customary at the time, through the use of the rod (Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:15; Proverbs 23:13). But it is noteworthy that one citation from Solomon himself (Proverbs 13:24) stresses that this is to be done in fatherly love. It was not to be vindictive. Today we do not beat our children with rods, but the use of rods for punishment was customary at that time over a much wider sphere, and was thus seen as the right way of going about things. Life was harder then, time was limited and child psychology was unknown. Discipline had to be swift, effective and seen to be exerted. Nevertheless the lesson is that it is still necessary for us to exercise some form of genuine discipline on our children if we really love them, even if we think we have better ways of going about it. The basic principle is ‘exercise proper discipline over your children', but expressed in terms of that day, it is not that the rod is the only way of achieving it.