CRITICAL AND EXEGETICAL NOTES
1 Peter 3:7. Knowledge.—With thought and care; trying wisely to meet all circumstances, Giving honour.—In the spirit of Christian meekness and gentleness, which always puts others before self. Weaker vessel.—This is physically true, and it puts woman upon every good man’s consideration. Even the rights of the husband are qualified by Christian gentleness toward the frail and often suffering wife. Heirs together.—The new life and new hope putting a new tenderness into your marital relations. Not hindered.—Cut off, as they would be by one of them praying against the other.
MAIN HOMILETICS OF THE PARAGRAPH.— 1 Peter 3:7
The Christian Husband.—The husband is the head of the wife, but not in such sense that she is to be under his feet, to be treated as his servant, or to be deemed his inferior. She is of his bone and of his flesh, and St. Paul therefore said, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (Ephesians 5:25; Colossians 3:19). And here St. Peter is equally express: “Likewise,” or in like manner, “ye husbands, dwelling with the feminine according to knowledge, as with the weaker vessel, giving honour to those who are also fellow-inheritors of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” Such is the true rendering of the apostle’s words. What, then, is required of the husband?
I. Consideration.—He is to dwell with his wife according to knowledge, as with the weaker vessel. Both are vessels—clay in the hands of the Potter, Who has formed them for Himself, giving to each the frame best suited for the end He has in view (Jeremiah 18:6; Isaiah 29:16, etc.); but the wife is physically the weaker vessel, and the husband, knowing this, is to treat her in every respect with kind consideration. She is subject to many trials as a mother, to many cares as the mistress of the household, to many diseases peculiar to her sex. Shall all this be forgotten? And shall the often suffering and sorrowful wife have no sympathy, or very little, from him to whom she has a right to look up? God forbid. It is a mistake to suppose that by “the weaker vessel” here it is meant that the wife is always mentally the inferior of the husband. In many qualities of the mind she often far excels him, and there have been, and still are, women whose acquirements in all branches of science and art equalled those of the most eminent men. The society of many a wife is better, in an intellectual point of view, than her husband will meet with away from home; and as for spiritual conversation and Christian fellowship, hers is often not to be surpassed.
II. Honour.—Your wives, says the apostle, are fellow-heirs with you of the grace of life. It is here assumed that both are believers, and, if so, both are partakers of the gift of life flowing from the grace of God. Eternal life begins on earth and is consummated in heaven, so that two things are here implied: that the husband and the wife are one in Christ now, and that hereafter their union will continue in a brighter and a happier sphere. Shall they, then, be afraid to converse with one another on the things of God? Shall they have any secrets in reference either to their outer or their inner life? The union that subsists between them is so close and sacred that, as far as possible, their very thoughts should blend; and if any differences of opinion exist, either with regard to their family affairs or in respect to religious views, they should try to remove them as soon as possible, or should bear with one another in reference to them with all charity and love. Specially should they honour one another; and the husband who has a Christian wife should never for one moment fail to see in her one who, equally with himself, bears the signature and stamp of heaven.
III. The apostle adds a special reason for all this.—“That your prayers be not hindered.” He assumes that the husband and the wife do pray; that they pray not merely for one another, but with one another; not merely at the domestic altar, but together, when no one else is near. It is said of Philip Henry that he and his wife constantly prayed together morning and evening, and from his own experience of the benefit of the practice he recommended it to all his Christian friends. That your prayers be not hindered, love one another with a pure heart, fervently, with that love which is essential to the happiness of married life (from Thornley Smith). The three points in relation to the Christian husband which this passage suggests are:
1. His authority, implied in his superiority of physical strength, and in that rule, in the ordering of life-relations, which is implied in “dwelling with them according to knowledge.”
2. His considerateness. Putting her interest before his own. Giving her all honour.
3. His religious helpfulness. The activity and energy, which are manly characteristics, finding expression in the shaping of the religious customs of the home.
SUGGESTIVE NOTES AND SERMON SKETCHES
1 Peter 3:7. Honour to the Weaker Vessel.—Read, “as with a weaker vessel, with what is female.” This explains the saying, “according to knowledge.” The thing which the husband is specially to understand, and take into account, is that he is dealing with a thing less strong than himself. The whole of chivalry is in these words, and St. Peter, next after Christ, may be considered the founder of it. Weakness itself, by being weakness, has a claim upon the strong man’s deference and self-submission. The weakness here ascribed to the female sex is primarily that of the body, though it may, perhaps, indicate frailty in other respects as well. If the word “vessel” is to be here a description of a “wife,” as some contend on 1 Thessalonians 4:4, in a sense in which it does not equally describe a husband, it is difficult to see with what the vessel is compared and pronounced weaker. “Dwell with the female as with a more delicate vessel or instrument”—than what? If we answer, “than yourselves,” it becomes clear that the husbands are, by implication, less delicate vessels. And this is the case. In 1 Thessalonians 4:4 the word “vessel” (whether as receptacle or as instrument) is a description of the body, or rather of the self as manifested in the body. The word in itself may be used to describe anything made to be serviceable—machinery, tackle and gear, pots and pans, and, in fact, any kind of apparatus or implement; and here it might be very fairly rendered, “as with a weaker thing or object.” That which is translated “the wife” is really a neuter adjective, and it is a question whether we are to supply with it the noun “vessel”—“with the female as with a vessel which is weaker”—or whether it is to stand absolutely, “the female,” as we say “the good,” “the evil,” i.e. “that which is female.” The latter seems, on the whole, simpler and more forcible, as calling closer attention to the fact of weakness being inherent in the sex.—A. J. Mason, M.A.
The Husband’s Sphere in the Home.—The true home is the brightest spot since the Garden of Eden; but it does not make itself, or come by chance. In building a glad and happy household, each one has a part to perform, and God’s choicest blessing comes only when all the members stand in their place and do their duty. The happy home grows out of a union of hearts and hands toward one cherished end. One person alone may do much, but no one can do all that is required. The best is only when there is sympathetic and harmonious blending together, like the different parts of music. When either part fails, there is discord and loss. Complete concert of action between husband and wife is a necessity in any well-ordered home. Perfect confidence and affection must exist between them. To draw apart, tears. To make the home the happiest and most helpful place in the world, each must give the best to it. Not to society, not to business, not to outside intimates, but to the family circle, must the choicest gleanings be brought from all the fields of life, as the bee brings to his hive, and not elsewhere, honey from all the sweetest flowers. The husband has an important sphere. The more he gives to the home, the more it will give to him. The more he is to it, the more it will be to him and to the world. His dividend will be in proportion to his investment. Some complain that their home joys are meagre. Let them remember how mean and beggarly are their contributions. They cannot reap where they do not sow. If they will, they can make the home a source of perennial comfort to themselves, and the means of blessing to many. It should be a bright beacon in this world’s night. The word “husband” means a house-band; a band of strength around the home, upholding, protecting, and keeping it together. The home was the first institution God made. The germs of the State and the Church are in it. The husband, as the head of the home, stands at the beginning of all the worthiest elements of Society. In the household he plants the seeds of religion for the Church, and of authority for the State. The family is the spring-head of the nation, the source of its purest spiritual and civil life. It is plain what manner of man the husband ought to be. The husband in the model home must love his wife. St. Paul says, “Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” These are strong words—Bible words. The Bible is the marriage ring. Marriage begins in love. It must continue and end there. The husband must see that the early, tender affection never fails; that the gentle tone of life’s morning does not grow harsh. He must love the wife down through old age, and on through fading youthful beauty, to the sunset years, with a love that makes wrinkles beautiful, and infirmities seem precious. Tell her how much you love her still. Tell it more and more, as the years go on. Never allow the white roses of affection to fade on your lips, and your mouth to grow dumb. A cold silence is a mildew. Some wives would be surprised to hear expressions of endearment from their husbands now. All that ceased long, long ago. Let the husband show his love by his presence, not leaving her, and deserting the home the long evening through, when he can help it. Let the husband cherish his wife, and appreciate what she does, causing her to feel that he sees and esteems her service. Let little attentions never cease, nor delicate thoughtfulness for her welfare. Let the husband shelter his wife under his strong arm, and smooth her path. Let him protect her and stand by her in her cares and trials, and know that she will never look to him in vain. Let him provide for her reasonable wants, that she come not into embarrassment, and feel that he demeans her. Ill temper and hasty words on his part—these are not for the happy home. Some seem to be more considerate of their horse and dog than of their wives, but many a husband is a mule. The true husband will be mindful of his wife’s good, and not indifferent to her, for in his smile she lives, and in his frown is chill. A husband’s love is the sunshine of the wife. It brings out her beauty of soul, as a spring morning opens the flowers, and sustains her in her deeper needs. Selfishness and disregard to the interests and happiness of the wife, planting one’s own self in the centre, and absorbing every good thing in one’s own greed, the wife drudging and denying herself for her husband, as the slave for his lord—running to serve his every whim;—this is not found on heathen ground alone. There are home heathens. Genuine love casts out selfishness, and ennobles the heart. It makes it generous and self-denying for all others’ sakes. Husbands, love your wives. These are some of the benefits that flow out of domestic love, and in proportion as this love ceases these benefits fail. What if love has ceased already? Do these things and it will come back, as the seeds begin to open when the spring sun shines again. Let the husband honour his wife. Peter says, “Ye husbands, give honour unto the wife, as being joint heirs of the grace of life.” Honour her by caring for her needs. In the hard places of life, stand by her side, and give her true sympathy. When children are ill, and burdens press, let her feel that she has a stronghold in you, and give her your comfort. Because she is your wife, you owe her what, without you, she can never have. Bland and polite as treacle some are to guests and outsiders, while in their homes they are domineering and exacting, finding fault with the wife, and criticising her before the children, blaming her for the mishaps, with seldom a kind word. “Oh, it is only my wife!” This is the gilt edge of married life, in a guilty age. Do you say you have no time for all these trifles? In the perfect home there are no trifles. “It is trifles that make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.” Honour her by sharing your joys with her, as she shares all your cares, taking on herself in the family the heaviest part. Allow her to be with you when she can, to go with you when she may, and to enter into your life. Do not add to her crosses by leaving her to doubt you. Do not lay up food for sad reflection when death comes, and plant thorns in your pillow against that hour. The time to love, honour, and help her, is when these things are needed. When death has entered, and plucked the lilies from her cheek, it will be too late then to lighten her lot, or speak her praises. Honour her by taking her into counsel with you. She will be wise with a true woman’s wisdom. Insight and intuition are her gift, and she will give her husband her best thought, and be happy that it is sought. In all the affairs of life, a true woman’s judgment has its uses. Many a man has failed for want of it. The counsel at his elbow would have saved him had he sought it. Thus honouring her, she will be made strong. Then, if he takes her into counsel, and honours her in his successes, when failures and reverses come, and trouble and misfortune sweep over them, as they do sometimes over the best and most prosperous, she will, in turn, grandly stand by him and become his polar star, enduring every hardship for his sake with sweet and abiding cheerfulness and courage, never breathing a murmur of complaint. Be worthy of her, and you will find she will be worthy of you. Your lives will develop together. Let the husband be faithful and true to his wife. The evils that I have been speaking of are the little foxes that spoil the vines. But intemperance and infidelity are what Dr. Abbott calls the wolves that destroy the home. The Lord Bishop of Durham founded the White Cross League. It asserts that the time will come when fatherhood will take its place beside motherhood, its Divine counterpart, as equal sharers in the cares which have so ennobled women as to make some of them akin to angels. The pledge of this order declares: “I will maintain the law of purity as equally binding on men and women. I will endeavour to spread these principles among my companions, and try to help my younger brothers. I will use every means to fulfil the sacred command, ‘Keep thyself pure.’ ” If the wife be led into sin, she is denounced and cast off as a thing unclean, with little effort for her reform; yet through all the husband’s excesses and untruth to her, and drunkenness and dishonour, she clings to him, pleading and toiling to draw him back into the true path. How the husband owes it to such a being to keep his marriage vows in all fidelity and truth! I have spoken of the little foxes and the wolves of the home. The vampire of wedded life is where an alien comes in between husband and wife, under sanction and authority of the husband, and frets, almost to breaking, the marriage tie, and sucks out the pure joys of connubial life. Every husband should be a Christian in heart and life, and unite with the wife in faith and prayer and the service of God. He should join with her in the training of the children for usefulness here and for heaven hereafter. The husband should not let the wife pray alone. The whole household needs it. He should not allow her to go alone to church. He requires it as much as she. He should be with her at the communion table. Above all, he should not leave to her the Christian education of the children. Alone in this, the wife is a bird with one wing. It is a great wrong to the wife, to put all these trying and difficult duties on her, when God lays them equally on him. Some of the most important ones can only be done by him. Others require their united Christian effort, the closest conference of Christian hearts. A married couple can never be truly one, in the greatest and profoundest interests of life, until both are Christians. The most sacred and blessed side of the soul, that bordering on eternity, they cannot walk together in, until they together know the Lord. How many times does a mother’s heart ache for the aid a Christian father could give to her, when perplexed in the household, when things are at cross purposes, and the load seems heavier than she can bear! How barren, after all, is wedded joy, to live together on earth, and for earth only, without the bright hope of dwelling together in eternity, meeting there, never more to part! That home cannot be happiest which looks for no reunion in heaven. The happiest home is always the Christian home, where husband and wife are one at the family altar, as one in interests and affection.—C. L. Goodell, D.D.