CRITICAL NOTES.—
Proverbs 19:13. Calamity. The word so translated is in the plural form, so as to express the continuance of the trouble.
MAIN HOMILETICS OF Proverbs 19:13-14; Proverbs 19:18
DOMESTIC SORROW AND HOW TO AVOID IT
I. Two fruitful sources of sorrow. There are many fountains whence flow waters which sadly embitter the lives of men, but there is none outside of personal character which can more entirely darken their days than either of those mentioned in the thirteenth verse. To be either the father of a foolish son or the husband of a contentious wife is sorrow indeed. The first clause of this proverb is nearly the same as that in chap. Proverbs 10:1, for Homiletics on which see page 137. The contentious wife is here compared to a “continual dropping,” because although the discomfort would not be great if it was only occasional, its perpetual existence makes life wretched. A drop of water falling upon a man’s head is a very trifling matter, but one of the most dreaded tortures of the Spanish inquisition was that in which a man was placed in such a position that a single drop was constantly descending upon his head. Hour after hour, day after day, and night after night, the drops followed one another in regular and unbroken succession until the poor wretch first lost reason and then life. It is much harder to bear a burden which is never lifted from the shoulders than to carry one which is much heavier for a short time and for a very limited distance. So it is easier for a man to rise above trials which, although they may be almost overwhelming for a time, last but through a comparatively very short portion of his life. But the trial of a contentious wife is unceasing so long as the marriage bond continues, and it is this that makes it so greatly to be dreaded.
II. Means suggested whereby these sources of sorrow may be avoided. If so much depends upon our family relationships—if the character of wife and child have so much to do with our weal and woe—it becomes a most momentous question how to act so as to secure a prudent wife in the first place, and then to avoid the calamity of a foolish son. It must be remembered that the first is purely a matter of choice. A man’s “house and riches” may be “the inheritance of fathers,” his social position may depend upon his parents, but his wife depends upon his own choice, and as “a prudent wife is from the Lord,” if he seeks the guidance of Him who is alone the infallible reader of character, instead of following the leadings of his fancy or consulting his worldly interests, he may with confidence expect to avoid the curse and secure the blessing. The other relationship is not one of choice. Our children are sent to us by the hand of God, and we have no more voice in determining their dispositions and mental constitutions than we have the colour of their hair, or any other bodily characteristic. But of two things we are certain.
1. That they will need a training which will not be always pleasant to them. Where there is disease in the body a cure cannot often be effected without a resort to unpleasant—often to painful—measures. It is not pleasant to a surgeon to use the knife, but it is often indispensable to his patient’s recovery to health. And both experience and revelation testify to the fact that our children come into the world with a moral taint upon them—that they have a tendency to go the wrong way—that, in the words of the Psalmist (Psalms 51:5) they are “shapen in iniquity and conceived in sin.” If a parent desires to avoid the calamity of a foolish son he must early recognise the truth that his child will not become morally wise unless he “chasten” him, unless he subject him to a system of moral training, unless he make him feel that punishment must follow sin. This will be as painful sometimes to the parent as to the child; the crying of the son will hurt the father more than the rod will hurt the child, but the end to be attained by present suffering must be borne in mind, and must nerve the heart and hand of him whose duty it is to administer chastisement. (On this subject see also Homiletics on chap. Proverbs 13:24, page 334).
2. That there is reason to hope that children, if rightly trained, will be a joy and not a sorrow. There is hope. When a river has but just left its source among the hills, and the current is feeble, its progress can be stopped with ease; but when it has flowed on for a few miles and there is depth of water enough to float a fleet, it is almost impossible to stop its onward course. So, when the power of evil in the human soul is in its infancy, it is a much more easy task to restrain it than when it has acquired strength by years of uncontrolled dominion. When the young oak is but a few inches above the ground, the hand of the woodman can bend the slender stem as he pleases; but when it has grown for half a century he is powerless to turn it from the direction which it has taken. So a child’s will is pliable to the wise training of the parent, and if the education of the moral nature be begun early, there is every reason to hope that it will acquire strength to overcome both sin within and without, and that a righteous manhood will in the future more than repay both him whose duty it is to chasten, and him upon whom the chastisement must fall.
OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS
Proverbs 19:13-14. “A prudent wife” is not to be got by an imprudent mode of choice. The gift must be sought “from the Lord.” But this does not mean that the Lord is supernaturally to point out the individual. Our own discretion must be put in exercise, along with prayer for the divine superintendence and direction, so as to bring about a happy result. And then the precious gift should be owned, and the all-bountiful Giver praised for his goodness in bestowing it.—Wardlaw.
“Every good gift is from the Lord” (James 1:17) only, some in the ordinary course, others more directly from Him. Houses and riches, though His gifts, come by descent. They are the inheritance of fathers. The heir is known, and in the course of events he takes possession of his estate. But the prudent wife is wholly unconnected with the man. There has been no previous bond of relation. She is often brought from a distance. “The Lord brought her to the man” by His special Providence, and therefore as His special gift.—Bridges.
Proverbs 19:18. The great force of the rule is its timely application—while there is hope. For hopeless the case may be, if the remedy be delayed. The cure of the evil must be commenced in infancy. Not a moment is to be lost. “Betimes” (chap. Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:15)—is the season when the good can be effected with the most ease, and the fewest strokes. The lesson of obedience should be learnt at the first dawn. One decided struggle and victory in very early life, may, under God, do much towards settling the point at once and to the end. On the other hand, sharp chastening may fail later to accomplish, what a slight rebuke in the early course might have wrought.—Bridges.
You are here taught further, that firmness must be in union with affection in applying the rod. The words seem to express a harsh, yet it is an important and most salutary lesson:—“let not thy soul spare for his crying.” The words do not mean, that you should not feel, very far from that. It was the knowledge that feeling was unavoidable, and that the strength and tenderness of it was ever apt to tempt parents to relent and desist, and leave their end unaccomplished,—that made it necessary to warn against too ready a yielding to this natural inclination. The child may cry, and cry bitterly, previously to the correction; but, when you have reason to think the crying is for the rod rather than for the fault, and that, but for the threatened chastisement, the heart would probably have been unmoved, and the eyes dry;—then you must not allow yourselves to be so unmanned by his tears, as to suspend your purpose, and decline its infliction. If a child perceives this (and soon are children sharp enough to find it out) he has discovered the way to move you next time; and will have recourse to it accordingly.—Wardlaw.
On the subject of Proverbs 19:15 see Homiletics on chap. Proverbs 6:9-10, page 79.