Likewise ye wives, &c.— The tabernacle of the sun is set high in the heavens; but it is, that it may have influence below upon the earth: and the word of God, which is spoken of there immediately after, as being many ways like it, holds resemblance in this particular; it is a sublime heavenly light, and yet descends, in its use, to the lives of men, in the variety of their stations; to warm and to enlighten, to regulate their affections and actions, in whatsoever course of life they are called to. By a perfect revolution or circuit, (as there it is said of the sun,) it visits all ranks and estates, Psalms 19:6. His going forth is from the end of heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it, and there is nothing hid from the heat of it. This word disdains not to teach the very servants, in their low condition and employments, how to behave themselves, and sets before them no meaner example than that of Jesus Christ, which is the highest of all examples. And here the apostle proceeds to give rules adapted to that relation which is the main one in families, husbands and wives: for the order, it is indifferent, yet, possibly he begins here at the wives, because his former rules were giventoinferiors, to subjects and servants; and the duty that he commends particularly here to them, is subjection; likewise, ye wives, be in subjection, &c.
After men have said all they can, and much it may be to little purpose, in running the parallel between these two states of life, marriage and celibacy, the result will be found, I conceive, all things being truly estimated, very little odds, even in natural respects, in the things themselves, saving only as the particular condition of persons, and the hand of divine Providence, turns the balance the one way or other: and the writings of satires against either, or panegyrics on the one in prejudice of the other, is but a caprice of men's minds, according to their own humour: but in respect of religion, the apostle, having scanned the subject to the full, leaves it indifferent, only requiring in those that are so engaged, hearts as disengaged as may be, that they that marry be as if they married not, &c. 1 Corinthians 7:29; 1 Corinthians 7:31. Within a while it will be all one, as he adds that grave reason, for the fashion [σχημα] of this world passeth; it is but a pageant, a show of an hour long, [παραγει] goes by, and is no more seen: thus the great pomps and solemnities of marriages of kings and princes in former times, where are they? Oh! how unseemly is it to have an immortal soul drowned in the esteem and affection of any thing that perishes, and to be cold and indifferent in seeking after a good that will last as long as itself. Aspire to that good which is the only match for the soul, that close union with God which cannot be dissolved; which he calls an everlasting marriage, Hosea 2:19 which will make you happy, either with the other, or without it. All the happiness of the most excellent persons, and the very top of all affection and prosperity meeting in human marriages, are but a dark and weak representation of the solid joy which is in that mysterious divine union of the spirit of man with the Father of spirits, from whom it issues.
The common spring of all mutual duties, on both sides, is to be supposed love: that peculiar conjugal love which makes them one, will infuse such sweetness into the authority of the husband, and obedience of the wife, as will make their lives harmonious; like the sound of a well-tuned instrument: whereas without that, having such an universal conjuncture of interest in all their affairs, they cannot escape frequent contests and discords; which is a sound more unpleasant than the jarring of untuned strings to an exact ear. And this should be considered in the choice, that it be not, as it is too often, (which causes so many domestic ills,) contracted only as a bargain of outward advantages, but as an union of hearts: and where this is not, and there is something wanting in this point of affection, there, if the parties, or either of them, have any saving knowledge of God, and access to him in prayer, they will be earnest suitors for his help in this, that his hand may set right what no other can; that he, who is Love itself, may infuse that mutual love into their hearts now, which they should have sought sooner. And they, thatsensibly want this, and yet seek it not of him, what wonder is it though they find much bitterness and discontent; yea, where they agree, if it be only in natural affection, their observance of the duties required, is not by far either so comfortable and pleasing, or so sure and lasting, as when it arises from a religious and Christian love in both, which will cover many failings, and take things by the best side.
Love is the prime duty in both, the basis of all: but because the particular character of it, as proper to the wife, is conjugal obedience and subjection, therefore that is usually specified, Ephesians 5:22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord: so here. Now, if it be such obedience as ought to arise from a special kind of love, then the wife would remember this, that it must not be constrained uncheerful obedience: and the husband would remember, that he ought not to require base and servile obedience; for both these are contrary to that love, whereof this obedience must carry the true tincture and relish, as flowing from it; there it will hold right, where love commands, and love obeys.
This subjection, as all other, is qualified thus, that it be in the Lord. His authority is primitive, and binds first, and all others have their patents and privileges from him; therefore he is supremely, and absolutely, to be observed in all. If the husband would draw the wife to an irreligious course of life and looseness, he is not to be followed in this, but in all things indifferent this obedience must hold; which forbids not, neither, a modest advice and representation to the husband of that which is more convenient: but that done, a submissive yielding to the husband's will is the suiting of this rule. Yea, possibly, the husband may not only imprudently, but unlawfully, will that, which, if not in its own nature a thing unlawful, the wife by reason of his will may obey lawfully, yea, could not lawfully disobey.
Now, though this subjection was a fundamental law of pure nature, and came from that hand which made all things in perfect order, yet sin, which has embittered all human things with a curse, has disrelished this subjection, and made it taste somewhat of a punishment, Genesis 3:16 and that as a suitable punishment of the woman's abuse of that power which she had with the man, to the drawing of him to disobedience against God.
The bitterness in this subjection arises from the corruption of nature in both; in the wife a perverse desire rather to command, or at least a repining discontent at the obligation to obey; and this is increased by the disorder, and imprudence, and harshness of husbands, in the use of their authority.
But in a Christian, the conscience of divine appointment will carry it, and weigh down all difficulties; for the wife considers her station, that she is set in it, υποτασσομενη, it is the rank which the Lord's hand hath placed her in, and therefore she will not break it; out of respect and love to him, she can digest much frowardness of a husband, and make that, her patientsubjection, a sacrifice unto God. "Lord, I offer this to thee, and for thy sake I humbly bear it."
The worth and love of a husband may causethat respect, where this rule moves not: but the Christian wife, who hath love to God, though her husband be not so comely, nor so wise, nor any way so amiable as many others; yet because he is her own husband, and because of the Lord's command, therefore she loves and obeys.
That if any obey not the word,— This supposes a particular case, and applies the rule to it; takes it for granted, that a believing wife will cheerfully observe and respect a believing husband; but if he is an unbeliever, yet that unties not this engagement; yea, there is something in this case which presses it and binds it the more, a singular good, which probably may follow upon obeying such; by that good conversation, they may be gained who believe not the word; not that they could be fully converted without the word; but having a prejudice against the word, that may be removed by the carriage of a believing wife, and they may be somewhat mollified, and prepared, and induced to hearken to religion, and take it into consideration.
This gives not Christians warrant to draw on this task, and make themselves this work, by choosing to be joined to an unbeliever, either a profane or mere natural husband or wife; but teaches them, being so matched, what should be their great desire, and their suitable carriage, in order to the attainment of it. And in the primitive Christian times this fell out often, that, by the gospel preached, the husband might be converted from gross infidelity, Judaism, or Paganism, and not the wife, or the wife, which is the supposition here, and not the husband; and there came in the use of this consideration.