Whose adorning, let it not be, &c.— That nothing may be wanting to the qualifying of a Christian wife, she is taught how to dress herself; supposing a general desire, but especially in that sex, of ornament and comeliness; the sex, which began first our engagement to the necessity of clothing, having still a peculiar propension to be curious in that, and to improve the necessity to an advantage.
The direction here given corrects the misplacing of this diligence, and addresses it right, that is, Let it not be of the outward man, in plaiting, &c.
Our perverse crooked hearts turn all that we use into disorder. Those two necessities of our life, food and raiment, how few know the right measure and bounds of them? Unless poverty be our carver, and cut us short, who, almost, is there that is not bent to something excessive! Far more are beholden to the lowliness of their estate, than to the lowliness of their mind, for sobriety in these things; and yet some will not be so bounded neither, but will profusely lavish out upon trifles, to the sensible prejudice of their estate.
The apostle expressly, on purpose, checks and forbids vanity and excess in apparel, and excessive delight even in lawful decorum; but his prime end is to recommend this other ornament of the soul, The hidden man of the heart.
It is the thing which the best philosophy aimed at, as some of their greatest men express it, to reduce men, as much as may be, from their body to their soul: but this is the thing which true religion alone does effectually and thoroughly; from the pampering and feeding of a morsel for the worms, to the nourishing of that immortal beinginfusedinto it; which, therefore, it directs to the proper nourishment of souls, the bread that came down from heaven, John 6:27; John 6:32-33.
So here the apostle pulls off from Christian women their vain outside ornaments: but is not this a wrong, to spoil all their dressing and fineness? No, he does this, only to send them a better wardrobe; and there is much profit in the change.
All the gold, and other riches of the temple, figured the excellent graces of Christians, of Christ indeed first, as having all fulness in himself, and furnishing them; but secondarily of Christians, as the living temples of God. So the church is all glorious, but it is within, Psalms 45:13. And the embroidery, the variety of graces, the lively colours of other graces, shine best on the dark ground of humility. Christ delights to give much ornament to his church, commends what she has, and adds more
The particular grace which the apostle recommends, is singularly suitable to his subject in hand, the conjugal duty of wives; nothing so much adorning their whole carriage as this meekness and quietness of spirit. But it is, withal, the comeliness of every Christian, in every estate; it is not a woman's garment or ornament, improper for men. There is somewhat (as I may say,) of a particular cut or fashion of it for wives toward their husbands, and in their domestic affairs; but men, all men, ought to wear of the same stuff; yea, if I may so speak, of the same piece; for it is, in all, one and the same spirit, and fits the stoutest and greatest commanders. Moses was a great general, and yet not less great in this virtue, the meekest man on earth.
Nothing is more uncomely in a wife than an uncomposed turbulent spirit, which is put out of frame with every trifle, and inventive of false causes of disquietness and fretting to itself. And so in a husband, and in all, an unquiet passionate mind lays itself naked, and discovers its own deformity to all. The greater number of things that vex us, do so, not from their own nature or weight, but from the unsettledness of our minds. How comely is it to see a composed firm mind and carriage, which is not lightly moved!
I urge not a stoical stupidity; but that, in things which deserve sharp reproof, the mind keep in its own station and seat still, not shaken out of itself, as the most are; that the tongue utter not unseemly rash words, nor the hand act any thing which discovers that the mind has lost its command for the time. But, truly, the most know so ill how to use just anger, upon just cause, that it is easier, and the safer extreme, not to be angry, but still, calm, and serene, as the upper region; not the place of continual tempest and storms, as the most are: let it pass for a kind of sheepishness to be meek, it is a likeness to him that was as a sheep before the shearers, not opening his mouth, Isaiah 53:7.; it is a portion of his Spirit.
The apostle commends his exchange of ornaments from two things: 1. This is incorruptible, and therefore fits an incorruptible soul. Your varieties of jewels and rich apparel are perishing things; you shall one day see a heap made of all, and that all on a flame; and, in reference to you, they perish sooner; when death strips you of your nearest garment, your flesh,all the other, which were but loose upper garments above it, must off too. It gets indeed a covering for the grave, but the soul is left stark naked, if no other clothing be provided for it. But spiritual ornaments, and this of humility and meekness, here, among the rest, remain, and are incorruptible; they neither wear out, nor out of fashion, but are still the better for the wearing, and shall last eternity, and shine there in full lustre.
And, 2. Because the opinion of others is much regarded in matter of apparel, and it is mostly in respect to this that we use ornament in it, he tells us of the account of this. Men think it poor and mean, nothing more exposed to contempt than the spirit of meekness; it is mere folly with men, but that is no matter; this overweighs all their dis-esteem, it is with God of great price, and things are indeed as he values them, and no otherwise. Though it be not the country fashion, yet it is the fashion at court, yea, it is the King's own fashion, Matthew 11:29. Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly, &c. Care not what the world say of this; you are not to stay long with them.
Desire to have both fashions and stuff from court, from heaven, this spirit of meekness, and it shall be sent you. It is never right in any thing with us till we attain to this, to tread on the opinion of men, and eye nothing but God's approbation.