Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee.
How to meet offences
Observe the method Christ has laid down-
I. The trespass supposed, whether accidental or designed. Whether it regards reputation, or property, or feelings, etc. Then, the direction given-
II. Seek a private interview. That he may explain, if possible. Better adapted for him to confess. More faithfully and affectionately admonished.
III. If this fail, take one or two more. Let them be unobjectionable, peaceable, prudent persons. These are to witness and aid by their counsel and influence. If this fail-
IV. Bring it to the church. Do so for these reasons:
1. For the offender’s sake. He may hear the Church.
2. For Christianity’s sake.
3. For the world’s sake, that they may see we are neither indifferent or malevolent. If he refuse to hear the Church, then he must-
V. Be removed from christian communion. This is the last act, and if this is rightly done, it is ratified in heaven (Matthew 18:18). Do not let us neglect this order. You object “He is not worthy of all this,” etc.; “ This is troublesome,” etc. But it is your duty; Christ demands it. (J. Burns, LL. D.)
Tell the offender his fault
A person came one day to see Mr. Longdon, of Sheffield, and said, “I have something against you, and I am come to tell you of it.” “Do walk in, sir,” he replied; “you are my best friend. If I could but engage my friends to be faithful with me, I shall be sure to prosper. But, if you please, we will both pray in the first place, and ask the blessing of God upon our interview.” After they rose from their knees, and had been much blessed together, he said, “Now I will thank you, my brother, to tell me what it is you have against me.” “Oh,” said the man, “I really don’t know what it is; it is all gone, and I believe I was in the wrong!” (Anon.)
Private reproof
A reprover is like one that is taking a mote out of his brother’s eye-now this must be done very tenderly. For this purpose it would be convenient, where it may be, that reproofs be given privately. “If thy brother offend thee, tell him his fault between him and thee.” The presence of many make him take up an unjust defence, who in private would have taken upon him a just shame. The open air makes sores to rankle-other’s crimes are not to be cried at the market. Private reproof is the best grave to bury private faults in. (Swinneck.)
Brotherly reproof
I. Whom are we to reprove? Our brother. This term, in general, comprehends all mankind.
II. For what are we to reprove our brother? It is for trespassing against us.
III. How we are to reprove.
1. Be sure that the person whom you are about to reprove is really guilty of the sin.
2. See that the sin, which you are about to reprove, be that heinous sin which you have taken it to be. We are not for every trifle to fly in the face of our brother, and to hale him before our tribunal.
3. When you are about to reprove a brother, you should consider whether there is any probability of your doing him any good by your reproofs. If the goldsmith were persuaded that his toil and sweat at the refining pot would answer no good but to injure his health, and perhaps to shorten his days, he would sooner break his utensils in pieces, and burst his bellows apart than engage in such unprofitable and unhealthy employment. Equally fruitless ii is to reprove some men. To reprove successfully requires no small degree of dexterity and penetration. It must be the combined work of a cool head, and a gracious compassionate heart.
4. When you are about to reprove a brother, go to him yourselves. Do not wait until he comes of his own accord to you.
5. He who would reprove with success, should be as unblemished as possible in his own conduct.
IV. For what end we are to reprove him. Not to please ourselves, or to gratify our private resentments-not to triumph over his infirmities or to display our superiority to him; not to insult him, or to make ourselves merry with his faults; but that we may win him over from the camp of the aliens, and restore him to his rightful owner. (Daniel Rowland.)
The necessity of ecclesiastical discipline
I. The gospel cannot be preserved without salt; nor-
II. Fraternal love without frankness; nor-
III. A particular Church without discipline; nor-
IV. The Church in general without a spirit of discipline. (J. P. Lange.)
Correction of fault a duty
He who sees his brother commit a sin and keeps silence, is equally in fault with him who does not forgive him who repents. The very elements teach us the benefit of this correction. For so fire chastises, and by burning purifies the air. The air by the blasts of winds chastises and purifies the water. In like manner, so does the water the earth. There can be no Christian charity in any one unless he afford the medicine of correction to an erring brother. (Anon.)
Private admonition best
It is true open sinners deserve open censures; but private admonitions will best suit private offences. While we seek to heal a wound in our brother’s actions, we should be careful not to leave a scar upon his person. We give grains of allowance in all current coin. That is a choice friend who conceals our faults from the view of others, and yet discovers them to our own. That medicine which rouses the evil burnouts of the body, and does not carry them off, only leaves it in a worse condition than it found it. (Archbishop Secker.)
Do not parade other people’s faults
They are fittest to find fault in whom there is no fault to be found. There is no removing blots from the paper by laying upon them a blurred finger. What do you get by throwing stones at your enemy’s windows while your own children look out at the casements? He that blows into a heap of dust is in danger of putting out his own eyes. (Archbishop Secker.)
Test of friendship
It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend of his faults. If you are angry with a man, or hate him, it is not hard to go to him and stab him with words; but so to love a man that you cannot bear to see the stain of sin upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words-that is friendship. But few have such friends. Our enemies usually teach us what we are at the point of the sword. (H. W. Beecher.)