By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.
The power of gentleness
In the government of our words, mildness, or meekness, is specially commendable. The right disposition includes meekness, gentleness, courteousness, kindness. These are the virtues of a soft tongue. The opposites are hardness, roughness, sharpness, bitterness, clamour, brawling. By the term “breaking” is meant persuading, pacifying, convincing, appeasing, prevailing with. A meek and gentle way of discourse is the most effectual means to overcome the fiercest passions and most obdurate, cruel dispositions. A calm and gentle way in vindicating ourselves is the most effectual means to work confusion in such as would calumniate and reproach us. This truth may be confirmed by two considerations.
1. The nature of these fierce passions and this obduracy or hardness of temper, which are increased by opposition, and consequently must be abated by gentleness and yielding.
2. From the nature of lenity and gentleness, whose property it is to insinuate itself into the hardest things. It is compared with oil. How does this doctrine consist with the imprecations of Scripture? Explain that some of them, though pronounced optatively, are to be understood declaratively, as descriptive of the true state and condition of such parties. Those who used these imprecations were inspired for a particular purpose. They spoke in their zeal for God. It may be right to wish evil to come to persons for the sake of its disciplinary mission. How does this doctrine consist with the severe imprecations of Scripture? Our Saviour called the Pharisees “vipers,” Herod a “fox.” The apostle calls some people “dogs.” To this it may be said, those who have an extraordinary power of discerning may use such hard terms. And those in public stations may thus severely chide and reprehend. How does this doctrine consist with the duties of zeal and reproving, which sometimes must be done with severity? A man may sometimes sin in not being angry. True “meekness of wisdom” directs a, man how to order his zeal and rebukes. Learn--
1. That if soft words be of such a prevailing efficacy, soft and gentle actions must be so too.
2. The folly and sinfulness of hard speeches, whereby others may be provoked to anger and offence.
3. The lawfulness and fitness of giving men the reverence and honour due to their proper titles.
4. Bitter and provoking words are unmanly, as being against the rules of morality and very un-Christian, as being against the precepts of the gospel. (Bp. John Wilkins.)
The manifestation and mightiness of moral power
There are three kinds of power--material, mental, and moral.
I. The manifestation of moral power. The words indicate a threefold manifestation.
1. Stillness. “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded.” Forbearance implies calm endurance--a patience like that which the Great Heavenly Exemplar exhibited under insults and persecutions.
2. Speech. “A soft tongue breaketh the bone.” “A soft tongue” not a simpering tongue, not a silly tongue, not a sycophantic tongue, but the “soft tongue” of tender love and forbearing kindness. Such a tongue is might: it “breaketh the bone.” This somewhat paradoxical expression expresses the amazing power of kind words; they break the bone, the ossified heart of the enemy. Another manifestation of power here is--
3. Service. “If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink,” etc. “In the smelting of metals,” says Arnot, “whether on a large or small scale, it is necessary that the burning coals should be above the ore as well as beneath it. The melting fuel and the rude stones to be melted are mingled together and brought into contact, particle by particle, throughout the mass. It is thus that the resistance of the stubborn material is overcome, and the precious separated from the vile.” There are but few hearts so obdurate as not to melt under the fires of love that blaze over and under them. These words direct our attention to--
II. The mightiness of moral power.
1. Persuading. “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded.” Thus David brought down Saul (1 Samuel 24:8-20; 1 Samuel 26:3-20).
2. Breaking. “A soft tongue breaketh the bone.” Loving words can mollify the roughest natures. Gideon, with a kind word, pacified the Ephraimites, and Abigail turned David’s wrath away.
3. Melting. “Thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.” “The Americans have a tract on this subject, entitled, ‘The Man who Killed his Neighbours.’ It contains, in the form of a narrative, many useful, practical suggestions on the art of overcoming evil with good. It is with kindness--modest, thoughtful, generous, persevering, unwearied kindness--that the benevolent countryman killed his churlish neighbour: and it is only the old evil man that he kills, leaving the new man to lead a very different life in the same village, after the dross has been purged away.” How sublimely elevated is the moral legislation of the Bible! (D. Thomas, D.D.)
The power of Christian kindness
There is a tremendous power in a kind word.
1. Kindness as a means of defence. Have you ever known acerbity and acrimonious dispute settle a quarrel? I have seen men moving amid the annoyances, and vexations, and assaults of life in such calm Christian deliberation that all the buzzing around about their soul amounted to nothing. They conquered them, and, above all, conquered themselves.
2. Kindness as a means of usefulness. In all communities you find sceptical men. How shall you capture them for God? Sharp argument and sareastic retort never yet won a single soul from scepticism to the Christian religion. When such are brought in, it is through the charm of some genial soul, and not by argument at all. Men are not saved through the head; they are saved through the heart. The same thing is true in the reclamation of the openly vicious. Was ever a drunkard saved through the caricature of a drunkard? You can never drive man, woman, or child into the kingdom of God. (T. De Witt Talmage, D.D.)