He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Ver. 24. He that spareth his rod hateth his son.] It is as if one should be so tender over a child as not to suffer the wind to blow upon it, and therefore hold the hand before the mouth of it, but so hard as he strangleth the child. It is said of the ape that she huggeth her young one to death; so do many fond parents, who are therefore peremptores potius quam parentes, rather parricides than parents. Eli would not correct his children: God therefore corrected both him and them. David would not once cross his Absalom and his Adonijah, and he was therefore singularly crossed in them ere he died. a The like befell old Andronicus the Greek emperor, in his unhappy nephew of the same name; and Muleasses king of Tunis, in his son Amida, whom he cockered so long, till, Absalom like, he rose against his father, and possessing himself of the kingdom, put out his father's and brethren's eyes, slew his captains, polluted his wives, and took the castle of Tunis. b
But he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes.] And this is a God like love. Proverbs 3:12 Revelation 3:19. See Trapp on " Pro 3:12 " See Trapp on " Rev 3:19 " Correction is a kind of cure, saith the philosopher, c the likeliest way to save the child's soul; where yet, curare exigeris, non curationem, saith Bernard, it is the care of the child that is charged upon the parent, not the cure, for that is God's work alone. But he usually worketh by this mean, and therefore requires that it be soundly set on, if need so require. A fair hand, we say, makes a foul wound. A weak dose doth but stir bad humours and anger them, not purge them out. In some diseases, the patient must be let bleed, even ad deliquium animae, till he swoon again: so here. Quintilian tells us of some faults in a child that deserve not a whipping. And Chrysippus is ill spoken of by some, because he first brought the use of the rod into the schools. It was he, I trow, that first offered that strict and tetrical division to the world, Aut mentem aut restim comparandam: Either a good heart, or a good halter for yourself and yours. The condemned person comes out of a dark prison, and goes to the place of execution; so do children, left to themselves and not nurtured, come from the womb, their prison, to the fire of hell, their execution, Severitas tamen non sit tetra, sed tetrica: d Corrections must be wisely and moderately dispensed. "Parents provoke not your children to wrath, lest they be disspirited," Col 3:21 and, through despondency, grow desperate or heartless. Our Henry II first crowned his eldest son Henry while he was yet alive, and then so curbed him, that, through discontent, he fell into a fever, whereof he died before his father. e A prince of excellent parts, who was at first cast away by his father's indulgence; and afterwards by his rigour.
a Bernard.
b Turkish History, 745, 747.
c Iατρεια τις η παιδιεια. - Arist., Ethic., lib. ii.
d Sidonius, Ep., lib. iv.
e Daniel's History.