The reason why he says that he was ready to die (518) from his youth, (verse 15,) is uncertain, unless it may be considered a probable conjecture that he was severely tried in a variety of ways, so that his life, as it were, hung by a thread amidst various tremblings and fears. Whence also we gather that God’s wraths and terrors, of which he speaks in the 16 verse, were not of short continuance. He expresses them in the 17 verse as having encompassed him daily. Since nothing is more dreadful than to conceive of God as angry with us, he not improperly compares his distress to a flood. Hence also proceeded his doubting. (519) for a sense of the divine anger must necessarily have agitated his mind with sore disquietude. But it may be asked, How can this wavering agree with faith? It is true, that when the heart is in perplexity and doubt, or rather is tossed hither and thither, faith seems to be swallowed up. But experience teaches us, that faith, while it fluctuates amidst these agitations, continues to rise again from time to time, so as not to be overwhelmed; and if at any time it is at the point of being stifled, it is nevertheless sheltered and cherished, for though the tempests may become never so violent, it shields itself from them by reflecting that God continues faithful, and never disappoints or forsakes his own children.
(518) “ C’est, se cachent.” — Fr. marg. “That is, hide themselves.” Walford reads, “The darkness of death is my associate;” on which he has the following note: — “ The darkness of death. I take this literally to mean, ‘My acquaintance, or he that knoweth me, is darkness personified:’ — orcus, abaddon.”
(519) The original word for “ready to die” is גוע, goveang It is literally, I labour, or pant for breath, I breathe with pain and difficulty, as a person in great affliction and distress. The verb sometimes signifies to expire; but it does not so strictly express as imply death, from the obstruction of breathing that accompanies it. (See Parkhurst’s Lexicon, גגע, 1, 2.)