Then would I speak, and not fear him - I should then be able to maintain my cause on equal terms, and with equal advantages.
But it is not so with me - Margin, I am not so with myself. Noyes, “I am not so at heart.” Good, “but not thus could I in my present state.” Literally, “for not thus I with myself.” The Syriac renders it, “for neither am I his adversary.” Very various interpretations have been given of this phrase. The Jews, with Aben Ezra, suppose it means, “for I am not such as you suppose me to be. You take me to be a guilty man; but I am innocent, and if I had a fair opportunity for trial, I could show that I am.” Others suppose it to mean, “I am held to be guilty by the Most High, and am treated accordingly. But I am not so. I am conscious to myself that I am innocent.” It seems to me that Dr. Good has come nearer the true sense than any other interpreter, and certainly his exposition accords with the connection. According to this the meaning is, “I am not able thus to vindicate myself in my present circumstances. I am oppressed and crushed beneath a lead of calamities. But if these were removed, and if I had a fair opportunity of trial, then I could so state my cause as to make it appear to be just.”
In this whole chapter, there is evidently much insubmission and improper feeling. Job submits to power, not to truth and right. He sees and admits that God is able to overwhelm him, but he does not seem disposed to admit that he is right in doing it. He supposes that if he had a fair and full opportunity of trial, he could make his cause good, and that it would be seen that he did not deserve his heavy calamities. There is much of this kind of submission to God even among good people. It is submission because they cannot help it, not because they see the divine dealings to be right. There is nothing cheerful or confiding about it. There is often a secret feeling in the heart that the sufferings are beyond the deserts, and that if the case could be fairly tried, the dealings of God would be found to be harsh and severe. Let us not blame Job for his impatience and irreverent language, until we have carefully examined our own hearts in the times of trial like those which he endured. Let us not infer that he was worse than other men, until we are placed in similar circumstances, and are able to manifest better feelings than he did.